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What does the narcissist want from the relationship?

 What does the narcissist want from the relationship?


 The narcissist is a complex individual beyond description, engulfed in their own self to the extent that you might feel they don't even see you. Sometimes, they drown you in an overwhelming amount of attention and love, leaving you unsure of how you can live without them or away from them.


So, what does the narcissist need in such a relationship? The answer is quite simple: the narcissist wants someone who constantly makes them feel satisfied with themselves. This means they require an immense amount of praise and admiration from you.


At other times, the narcissist needs to enjoy a fantasized relationship that resembles the euphoria of drug addiction, especially felt at the beginning of the relationship. Furthermore, they don't want a relationship that demands specific commitments or a defined attachment. Unfortunately, this is the unhealthy and unnatural form that a healthy relationship should not take.


The narcissist requires a specific type of person to be in a relationship with, someone who can be manipulated and who avoids excessive arguments. This type should also make the narcissist feel strong and never abandon them, regardless of how they treat them.


When in a relationship with a narcissistic person, you might ask yourself why they chose you and what qualities in you attracted them. Let me tell you about the traits the narcissist seeks in their victim, the qualities they are in need of.


.First Trait: Loyalty and Devotion


Most narcissists want someone they can describe as loyal. For a narcissist, they need to believe and feel assured that you'll always be by their side, supporting them unconditionally. However, unfortunately, loyalty and devotion, according to the narcissist, mean having someone who agrees and accepts being tolerant of a toxic relationship.


.Second Trait: Avoidance of Questioning


Narcissists dislike being questioned about their actions or behavior. They don't want to be asked why they act a certain way or why they behave in a particular manner. They dislike anyone delving into their feelings or emotions. Simply put, narcissists need the freedom to do and say whatever they want, whenever they want, without facing the consequences of their actions.


.Third Trait: Weak Self-Esteem in the Victim


Narcissists require someone who makes them feel good and who can be easily influenced. This is easier with victims who have low self-esteem and don't command self-respect. A victim with high self-esteem wouldn't tolerate the narcissist's arrogance, making it difficult for the narcissist to manipulate them.


.Fourth Trait: Inducing Guilt


Certain individuals tend to feel guilty constantly, even if they haven't done anything wrong or made any mistakes. Narcissists utilize this sense of guilt to their advantage. They manipulate the victim's guilt to deflect any criticism towards them. For example, if accused of manipulating or mistreating the victim, the narcissist can twist the narrative to make the victim feel guilty for not understanding or appreciating their actions, all to ensure the relationship continues.


.Fifth Trait: Empathy


Empathetic individuals often believe they can understand their partner's emotions as if they were their own. This makes them susceptible to manipulation. Narcissists use this empathy to easily gain control. When the narcissist wants the victim to feel empathy for them, they might pretend to be sad, even if they're not, just to make the victim empathize with them.


.Fifth Trait: Sense of Responsibility for Others


This individual tends to feel responsible for others. The narcissist possesses an enormous yet fragile and delicate amount of pride. As a result, they need a partner or victim who fuels their ego whenever they feel the need, drawing attention to themselves. People with a sense of responsibility toward others often exert great effort to make their partner feel safe and secure, even when the partner manipulates them, exploiting their sense of responsibility to their advantage.


.Sixth Trait: Individuals with High Status


Narcissists constantly seek to improve their status. They achieve this by associating themselves with victims who hold high positions or have an ideal status. The narcissist prefers a partner whose status is comparable to theirs. However, over time, the narcissist starts devaluing the partner's status if they sense that the partner might surpass them in this regard. It's better for the narcissist if the partner's status is somewhat similar, then the narcissist gradually undermines their partner's value if they feel they might be outshone.


.Seventh Trait: Disregard for One's Needs


A narcissist requires a victim who places their needs as the top priority, ignoring their own emotions and emotional needs. Essentially, the narcissist's needs take precedence. Often, individuals who grew up in unstable family environments, such as divorced parents or neglected siblings, tend to prioritize others' needs, even if it exerts physical or mental strain on them. The narcissist exploits this aspect extensively.


.Eighth Trait: Forgiveness


Someone who forgives easily becomes an ideal target for manipulators. Once the narcissist issues a fake apology after causing harm, the forgiving person forgives them swiftly and forgets the transgression. This occurs because the narcissist rarely changes their abusive behavior, relying on the forgiving person's excessively tolerant nature to keep the relationship intact.


.Ninth Trait: Narcissist's Need for Power


The narcissist requires a continuous sense of power throughout the relationship. One of their most potent narcissistic emotions is the feeling of power. This prompts them to establish specific rules and conditions for the relationship. Throughout your association with a narcissist, you're required to view them as the dominant force. Challenging them in any way could bruise their ego, potentially leading to the relationship's end.


.Tenth Trait: Narcissist's Need to Feel Superior


Nothing unsettles a narcissist more than someone being better than them, as this makes them feel inferior. They need to feel more important than you. Acknowledging their legendary abilities boosts their ego.


From the Narcissist's Perspective.:


The narcissist believes that the world fails to recognize their talent and extraordinary nature. No amount of praise or admiration seems sufficient to acknowledge their success, talents, and superiority. Thus, the narcissist craves for the victim to see their worth, acknowledge their abilities, and shower them with praise and admiration.


The narcissist requires a sense of control. This is a crucial trait that defines narcissism, wherein the intense desire to feel in control dominates every moment of their life. It's easier to interact with the narcissist when they perceive themselves as in control. They are most content when they are in a relationship where they can exert control over the other person.


What does the narcissist want from you?


The narcissist wants you to feed their ego. They want you to acknowledge all their positive qualities while overlooking their negative traits. You must ensure they appear at their best when you're around and vanish entirely when they seek a new source of attention.


Above all, the narcissist wants you not to have any emotions that could overshadow theirs. You should view them as the sole important figure in your life.


What does the narcissist do at the end of a relationship?


The one thing to be certain of in a relationship with a narcissist is that it will come to an end. The how and when of it doesn't matter; what's crucial is that it will end. The narcissist wants you to know how insignificant you are to them and constantly convinces themselves that you're not worthy of their company. This happens during the phase of emotional manipulation and degradation.


After diminishing your value, the narcissist starts ignoring you and cuts ties. This signifies they have found a new source of supply and currently have no use for you. Unfortunately, the narcissist might reconnect if they sense that the new source isn't fulfilling their needs adequately.


Engaging in marriage or a relationship with a narcissist is never in the victim's favor and often leads to losses.


The narcissist won't care about your needs or any love and attention directed towards you. They seek such from you only to fulfill their own requirements.


As long as the narcissist cannot overcome their narcissistic personality disorder, they won't care about anything beyond themselves.


For your well-being, it's best to leave such a relationship, or when the narcissist ignores you, it's essential to sever all communication with them to prevent their return.


I hope you found this segment useful, and that it wasn't too lengthy. In the next episode, we'll explore another topic related to narcissism. Thank you all, and peace, mercy, and blessings be upon you.


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