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Why Narcissists Want You To Stay Alone After Breaking Up

Why Narcissists Want You To Stay Alone After Breaking Up

Why Narcissists Want You To Stay Alone After Breaking Up

After ending a relationship with a narcissistic person, they leave you completely and always want you to remain alone after them and not be connected to anyone else. So, how can a narcissist decide what you should or shouldn't do, and why do they do this even though the relationship between you has ended? In this episode, I will explain the reason behind the narcissist's desire for you to stay separate from anyone else after the breakup.

The narcissist always believes that you should be separate from anyone else after the breakup and remain alone, because they believe deep down that you are still tied to them and that you must continue to belong to them. As a result, the narcissist always wants to dictate your decisions and determine what you should or shouldn't do even after the breakup, as they believe they still have complete control over you.

The narcissist wants to remain as they are and retain control over your life, even after the breakup. Therefore, they consistently desire for you to stay separate from anyone else and remain alone, allowing them to maintain full control over you. 

After ending the relationship with you, the narcissist leaves you entirely and wants to be absolutely certain that you are still suffering from the end of the relationship between you two. They want your life to still revolve around that relationship, considering it the definitive ending for you. 

The narcissist wants to be reassured that you won't find anyone else who captures your attention and takes their place in your life. They want you to continue suffering from the end of the relationship and remain attached to that person. 

In healthy, natural relationships, separation or the end of a relationship is a very normal thing. Both parties continue with their lives naturally, and each can seek out someone else to continue their lives with, finding happiness after sadness and comfort after tiredness. 

However, in the case we're discussing, when the person you've separated from is narcissistic, things are entirely different. The narcissist always wants to stay in your mind and keep you attached to the relationship with them, so that they constantly feel important in your life and that they are the one who left you, while you continue to think about them. 

This makes the narcissist feel self-satisfied and influential in others' lives, whether that influence is positive or negative. Therefore, they want to stay connected to you and control your life even after the breakup. 

This is the fundamental issue in attachment or attachment disorder. The narcissist knows how to detach from you in an unhealthy or unnatural way, because the relationship was built on deception from the start, not a natural or healthy connection. 

If you fall in love with a narcissistic person, they will attach you in an unnatural manner, where the goal of the relationship is to harm and damage you. 

Now, after the breakup, the narcissist wants to ensure that you cannot start a new life after separating from them and that they continue to control your life. 

However, now, after the breakup, you have awareness and affirmation that the narcissist will continue their life and may be with someone else, and they won't care about you at all. 

The narcissist does everything they do due to their attachment disorder, as they can't let go of the relationship with you and can't envision your life without them. 

The narcissist wants to ensure they can contact you whenever they want, and you're available to them at any time, belonging to them without having any say. But the truth is that you have the ability to make decisions about your life, and you're free to do so. 

To the narcissist, others are tools they manipulate and discard as they please, just like they handle their mobile phones, carrying them when needed and disposing of them when done using them. The narcissist doesn't truly love people; they need them to fulfill their needs. 

For the narcissist, you're an object they possess and control, fulfilling their every demand. They don't care about your personality or your love for them; they care about the supply you provide to meet their needs. Therefore, the narcissist always needs you, even after the relationship ends, because their attachment to you is not based on genuine love but on the supplies you provide. 

This perspective forms the foundation of the narcissistic personality and is how they view people they interact with, considering them tools they use to fulfill their needs. 

When the narcissist considers someone significant, they provide them with essential needs, control them, and strive to maintain a connection. They do this to avoid losing their important supply source. The narcissist will shower you with attention and affection to convince you that they truly love you. However, this doesn't mean they are genuinely attached to you; they're attached to the supply you provide. They are determined to bind you tightly to ensure their needs are met and will not entertain the possibility of losing this vital source. 

It's important to note that the narcissistic personality cannot sustain relationships for long periods, as they always find new sources to fulfill their needs. 

In healthy and natural relationships, people receive support and mutual reinforcement, maintaining the relationship through natural exchanges. They can handle criticisms and mistakes naturally, and strengthen the bond between them. 

However, in the case of a disturbed relationship, these elements cannot be found in the narcissistic dynamic. The person they are attached to is seen merely as a tool or commodity from which they extract the benefits they require. They retain those who can serve them and discard them when the benefits cease. 

Hence, if you contemplate this matter, you will realize that the narcissistic personality doesn't want you to continue with your life or seek new relationships, because you represent a source of supply and they don't want to lose control over you. 

The life of a narcissistic personality revolves around replicating identical patterns in their relationships with anyone they are attached to. The narcissist compensates for their deficiencies and flaws through their relationship with you, which will never change in the narcissist. 

The flaws in the narcissist stem from childhood and were never addressed, so they will never feel wrong or recognize psychological issues needing treatment. 

What happened with the narcissist from childhood to their formative years is exactly what people deal with when growing up and forming connections with others. 

The narcissist cannot form natural relationships and never likes to reveal or discuss their feelings because they consider any display of natural emotions as a sign of weakness. The narcissist can never allow themselves to feel weak, as they are unaware of how to express such emotions. This renders the narcissist emotionally deficient and unaffected by the feelings of others. 

The narcissist always expects you to provide them with all your capabilities and emotions without giving anything in return. To the narcissist, you hold no value other than the benefit they gain from you. You are a source of emotional and psychological nourishment they rely on to feel satisfied with themselves. 

It is expected and anticipated that you understand and interact with the narcissist, sensing their thoughts and feelings. The narcissist requires everything you can offer. 

Therefore, you must be fully aware that when the narcissist separates from you or anyone they have a relationship with, they will intensely monitor and keep tabs on you. They do this because they don't want you to live your life without their presence. 

The most crucial aspect after a narcissist separates from you is for them to believe that you are no longer thriving and are still suffering. They only think of you as much as they need from you. 

The nature of the narcissist compels them to repeatedly replicate the same stages in every relationship, with only minor variations in their approach. However, their ultimate goal remains the same. 

The narcissist strives to engulf you entirely, positioning themselves as the victim. They monitor your life, track your activities, know your connections, and comprehend the nature of your relationships. 

At the earliest opportunity, the narcissist finds a way to reach out to you and attempt to regain control. This is driven by their need to satisfy their ego and convince themselves that they are still influential, capable, controlling, and significant in your life. They deeply crave this sense of importance and need the supplies to continue existing. 

The narcissist lives out the same patterns throughout their life, with their sole concern being ensuring you fulfill all their needs. 

If the narcissist loses you and cannot access any information about you or realizes that your life is improving after the separation, they experience a severe sense of collapse and defeat, leading to destruction. 

The greatest calamity for a narcissist is when they are certain their victim has moved on, they no longer have an impact, and they've lost all the threads they used to control them. 

The narcissist exerts tremendous effort to convince you that your life will not be complete or continue without them. They persist in their attempts tirelessly and without despair, as their failure to do so would mean losing you and the crucial supply they desperately need. 

Therefore, you must be extremely cautious and vigilant in your interactions with the narcissist. Avoid providing them with any information or news that could aid them in controlling you. Also, exercise great caution in your activity on social media platforms, as they are the primary source of information the narcissist uses to track your movements and news. 

Maintain your movements and steps in your life after the separation from the narcissist and distance yourself from anything that might make them aware of your actions. The less information they know about you, the more powerless they become in attempting to regain control over you and sabotaging the life you're trying to rebuild. 

You can protect yourself effectively from the narcissist by completely cutting off all communication and setting boundaries they cannot surpass. 

The narcissist knows that as long as there is a chance to communicate, there is hope of rekindling the toxic relationship. Conversely, if there is no connection, there is no hope of reclaiming you. 

If you can't completely sever ties with the narcissist, such as in a work context, and they can communicate with you, strive to be as guarded as possible. Be meticulous about any information you disclose that could be used against you, and withhold your secrets and personal information in any way you can. The narcissist is adept at using even the slightest information as a weapon against you. 

The narcissist will employ all means to avoid losing you or losing your supply permanently, as they are certain you've given them a lot and that they derive energy from you. They don't want to lose you forever or let anyone else have you. 

Strive to preserve yourself and protect yourself with all your might, rescuing yourself from becoming a victim of a toxic relationship that drains you and depletes your energy. 

We hope you have benefited from this episode and look forward to seeing you in the next one, discussing a new topic about narcissism. Thank you, and peace, mercy, and blessings be upon you.

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